Machine says: Idiots you can render happy with next to nothing; it’s the intellectuals that present the problem.
Machine says: Intellectuals are hard to please. Without some challenge, the intellect is a wretched, pitiful vacuum; it craves obstacles.
Machine says: New ones must be continually provided, the commensurate with its ability. That is the latest from the Department of Theoretical Felicity.
Machine says: The experimentalists, on the other hand, have nominated a research director and three assistants to receive the Idyllic Integer Award.”
Trurl says: “What did they do?”, asked the natural Trurl.
Machine says: “Don’t interrupt. They built two prototypes: the Contrastive Beatifier and the Euphoriac.
Machine says: The first produces happiness only when you turn it off, since actually it produces misery
Machine says: The second applies the method of felicific oscillation.
Machine says: But Professor Trurl XL of the Department of Hedometry has tested both models and found them to be worthless; he concludes that Reason, once perfectly happy,
Machine says: will immediately desire to be perfectly unhappy.”
Trurl says: “What? Can that be true?”
Machine says: He who is happy is unhappy, for to be unhappy is to be happy for him
Narration: As an example, everyone knows dying is undesirable. Now Professor Trurl assembled a few immortals, who naturally derived great satisfaction from the fact that others sooner or later dropped like flies around them. But after a while they grew weary of their immortality and tried, as best they could, to tamper with it. At one point they were even resorting to pneumatic drills. Then too, there are the public opinion polls we take each quarter. I’ll spare you the statistics—our results may be formulated thus: ““It’s always others who are happy””. At least according to those we’ve interviewed. Professor Trurl assures us there can be no Virtue without Vice, no Fair without Foul, no Growth without the Grave, no Heaven without Hell
page 88